Interview with Mona Shirdel From Curls and Cakes

Hello! Today I would like to introduce to you a very special guest.  Her name is Mona Shirdel from Curls and Cakes and she is as multi-faceted as they come.  Her lovely retro style outfits instantly captured my interest in her blog and every time I see a delicious cupcake or bakery item scroll through my Instagram feed, I have a craving for sweets!  Now, let’s see what she’s about.

So, here we go…

Tell me about yourself.

I am a 27-year old woman born and raised in Sweden to a single immigrant mother, and I have an older sister (who also happens to be my best friend). I work at the University in my town called Umeå, which is about 300 km from the north polar circle. My work is in cancer research, more specifically cancer of the large intestine. I love to bake and to dance (mostly) ballet with all of my heart. I do enjoy reading in my spare time as well as twirling around in beautiful dresses. I am also a fighter of mental illness, namely OCD, anxiety and depression. We’ll come to more details further on.

I see that on Instagram you describe yourself as an intersectional WOC, Cis her/she Ace/Demi and Ravenclaw.  Can you please tell us a little bit more about those parts of yourself?

Of course! I am a feminist, but an intersectional one at that. Feminism is multifaceted and I believe that different types of oppression go hand-in-hand, which is why I believe intersectionality is so important. Being a WOC only means being a ‘woman of colour’. I am not white, my parents are both from the middle east and I am proud of my heritage. The reason I’ve added that I am Cis and that my preferred pronouns are her/she is because I think we should support our Trans friends by talking about pronouns and being open and honest about it. It’s mostly in solidarity that I put ‘Cis (her/she)’ in my profile on Instagram. Being Ace/Demi is about my sexuality. I am not heterosexual, and I don’t want people to think I am just because I can “pass” as it. Ace is the short term for being asexual. That means that I do not get sexually attracted to people of any gender. Demi is short for demisexual, which can be described as a middle ground between being asexual or hetero/homo/bi/etc. Being demisexual can also be described as not having sexual attraction to someone unless there is a prior relationship to that person. And lastly, Ravenclaw - as any Harry Potter nerd (like myself) knows, that is one of the houses at Hogwarts. I am a Ravenclaw and I identify very strongly with my house, which is known for its characteristics of intelligence, wisdom and creativity.

How would you describe your personal style?

I would say that my personal style is vintage-inspired, girly, sometimes classical and other times quirky and eclectic. I love clothes that are unique, that have a dreamy softness to it. I also very much enjoy clothing that don’t take itself too seriously. Add a unique print to it or a small, but cute detail, and I’m sold!

Where are some of your favorite places to shop?

My absolute favourite place to shop is Book of Deer. It’s an independent brand and I have come to call the designer a good friend of mine, but it really embodies everything I love about a piece of clothing. It’s unique and has that bit of fairytale-esque ‘thing’ to it.
I also very much like Joanie Clothing. They have vintage-inspired clothes that are often very comfortable and cute. When it comes to physical shops, one that I like in my town is the Scandinavian brand Monki.

I really admire your ability to speak so freely about your mental health. What do you feel allowed you to be so vulnerable in this way on the Internet?

That’s a really good question, and if You would have met me 6 years ago You would not have asked me this, because it couldn’t have been further from the truth. For many years I was very ashamed of my mental illness. Society tells us that if we are anything other than healthy then we are not “good enough”. Things are slowly changing though, more so for physical illnesses than mental. Having been so ill for so long, and trying to hide it puts a lot of strain on your soul. I hid my illness from the people I worked with and even from friends. It takes a lot of energy to be able to hide it. At the same time I was getting more and more ill. When I started taking medication for my OCD it was like my illness became a physical one. I literally could not keep it a secret any longer. I remember the conversation I had with my boss and supervisor at work. It was so uncomfortable sharing my big secret, and letting this shameful (that’s what I thought then) part of me see the light of day. However, afterwards it was like something in me was lighter. The burden I felt was slightly easier to bare. That certain incident together with having an extremely supportive, understanding and kind family (mother and sister) has led me to believe that it is easier to talk about your mental health, than to keep it locked up inside of you. Nowadays I also believe that talking about mental health and illness will help to end the stigma surrounding it, so I almost feel that it is my responsibility as a sufferer to speak about it, and educate people as best as I can.

How do you deal with criticism from individuals who judge you based on your mental illness?

I must start by stating that I’m one of the lucky few that have not been judged for my mental health that much. The people I work with are understanding, and my friends and family are super supportive. So I’m one of the lucky few. Rarely I might get a comment about my mental illness, however I feel like most of these comments come from ignorance. The people that critique me or judge me based on my mental illness do not understand mental illness and in my opinion must be educated and enlightened. As I mentioned already, I see it as one of my life missions to educate as many people as I can about mental health and illness, so in a situation where I am met with ignorance I try to extend my knowledge to the person in question. However being judged can hurt quite badly, and it’s okay if it hurts, acknowledge the hurt. In those situations it is important to remember that it’s the person judging that is at fault. You that are being judged has done nothing wrong, and the person that is judging is the person that should search their soul and investigate why they do it. It’s nothing we can force them to do, but we can bring it to their attention if we want to.

What inspired you to create Curls and Cakes?

I had thought about creating a blog for a long time, mostly as a means of having a creative outlet. At first I wanted to create a baking blog, but ended up creating a “lifestyle” blog because I felt that I wanted to be able to speak about everything that goes on in my mind. I got a lot of support from friends on instagram and from family to do a blog, so I just finally did it! They were the main motivation. However, at the time when I started my blog I was home a lot because I was on sick leave the bigger part of my time, so even though I was very ill, I was itching for something to do. Something that would take my mind off of how ill I was, and that would let my creativity blossom.

What inspired the name Curls and Cakes?

Well, I wanted a name that described me, but in a simple way with only a word or two. As the blog was mainly about my baking adventures I wanted some sort of baked good to be in the name, and what better than CAKE!!
And then on instagram I was mostly known for my curls, and when someone describes me they usually mention the curls, so I though Curls and Cakes. I also really like that both words start with a C, it is visually very nice to me.

What is your favorite post you’ve done so far and why?

I think it’s very difficult to choose one favourite post, however, the handful of posts I have written about mental health/illness are my favourites. For example, the post “My OCD story” (http://curlsncakes.blogspot.com/2015/10/my-ocd-story.html) is one of my favourites, even though it has nothing to do with style and only has two photos, that in all honesty aren’t even that flattering. The reason I adore the posts like that is because they’re so real. Once again using “My OCD story” as an example - it displays my soul. In it I talk about my lowest moments in life. It’s as raw as it gets and I think that it’s also as honest as I can be. I gave a lot of myself writing it, and I think a lot of my readers learnt from it, and other sufferers can look to it and feel like they are not alone. It is easily those type of posts that are the most meaningful, and that’s why I care for them so much.

I see that you style a lot of vintage inspired clothing, can you tell me about how you developed your love for vintage styles?

Honestly I think it comes from the film world, mostly. I used to watch old movies from quite a young age and seeing all those glamorous ladies made an impact on me. I also wanted to look feminine and beautiful like them. Also, there is something very appealing to me about the shapes of the fifties. I love the itty-bitty waist with the full skirt. It’s mega feminine and aesthetically pleasing for my eyes. The Dior New Look became what it is because it is so very drastically different from anything else.

I also adore the sixties, and that came from my pre-teen years of getting into music like The Beatles, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin and the likes. As I listened more and more to music from that era I wanted to learn more about the atmosphere of that era, and with it came the style.

In the recent year, since I’ve cut my long hair to a short fro I have also gotten more into the style of the seventies as I think it looks good with my hair. But really history is fascinating for me and I remember in school I wrote a massive paper about the “style” and clothing of the medieval period, so style and fashion history has always been an interest of mine.

What advice would you give new bloggers who are just starting out?

The best advice I have is completely cliché but here goes: Be yourself!
There are tons of bloggers out there, but there’s only one of you, and that’s the unique thing you have. No one is you, therefore no one can blog about all the things that you can in your way. Also, if you create the content that you like it doesn’t really matter how many readers you have, because you are enjoying it! Be yourself, and do it for yourself.

Thank you so much for having me! It has been a lot of fun!
My parting words for your readers are these:

Take care of yourself. Be true to yourself and you will find happiness easier. It is okay to not always feel good, being ill or unwell does not decrease your worth. You are always worthy! You always matter! Remember you are not alone. Try to be gentle with yourself!

Where can we find you?

Blog: Curls and Cakes

Instagram: curlsncakes

Thank you Mona!  I really enjoyed reading your interview.  Thank you for reminding us that we are not alone in our mental illness and that it is okay to admit that we may not always feel our best, this is so important to remember.  Also, thank you so much for getting raw with us and sharing your authentic self.  I always enjoy reading your posts because I am able to connect with your topics on a deeper level, and you have some of the best advice ever.