The Incredible Life of India's Instagram-Famous Rajkumari, Technology Executive, Human Rights and Clean Water Activist, and Style Icon

Hello! Today I want to introduce you to Rajkumari Amy Mali.  I first noticed her while scrolling through Instagram.  She had beautiful pictures, but what really captured my attention was her international love story.  Every week or so, I would see her story pop-up in my Instagram feed teaching me something new about Indian wedding cultural traditions as she experienced it through her native #Calindianprincess (California Born Indian Princess) eyes.  Being a native Californian myself, I was certainly intrigued by the extensive wedding practices and her journey into becoming an Indian bride and wife.  In my personal opinion, Indian wedding dresses or “saris” are some of the most beautiful and masterfully handcrafted pieces on the planet.  Let’s learn more about her love story...

So, here we go…

Hi Amy! Thank you for sharing your time with us today!

Firstly, in your Instagram profile your tag line is:

“Breaking boundaries & changing the world one gold bangle at a time!” 

Can you please tell me more about that and about your background?

Hello lovely to meet you.

Where are you from?

I was born in California, USA to American parents. I grew up in the small town of Pleasant Valley, California. My hobbies included recreational sports such as cheerleading, biking, swimming, sailing, and the arts such as ballet and painting.

Amy at age 5

Amy as a Cal Poly Cheerleader

                    

Growing up in the Christian faith we celebrated holidays like Christmas and Easter.

Every year during Christmas and Easter my parents would take me and my sister to a homeless shelter to serve warm meals and give gifts to homeless children. It gave me the perspective of serving the less fortunate at a very young age which has been instrumental. I always dreamed big and wanted to change the world for the less fortunate. I received a Bachelor’s of Science degree in Business from California Polytechnic State University. I applied this, first, to the technology sector and, later, for social impact entrepreneurial endeavors.

Amy founded DayOne Response Inc. a company that provided clean water technology globally.  She was honored by The Tech Awards as a Laureate for tremendous global impact, recognized by the United Nations for humanitarian innovation and awarded by Toyota for her life-saving technology.

Amy honored by The Tech Awards as a Laureate

Water bag providing clean water to children 

after Nepal Earthquake

I am most proud of being part of providing over 40 million liters of clean drinking water to disaster relief beneficiaries around the world. My passion is clean water as I believe it is a basic human right.

Amy Mali with Diane von Furstenberg

I loved meeting the extraordinary Diane von Fürstenberg at the Women in the World event (where my company was honored) as she is an inspiration to women globally! She is best known for her fashion label, which is often shortened to DvF and her iconic wrap dresses.

“Be with someone who looks at you like you are magical.” –Amy Mali Rajkumari

You two make the cutest couple and it is so obvious that you both love each other! 

How did you meet your husband?

Let me start by saying Fairy tales do exist! We met each other unexpectedly at the tech company we both were part of in the Silicon Valley. The day Shaunak started I had an immediate crush and called my mother to tell her about him. We ended up becoming friends for years and fell head over heels in love. It truly was magical like the universe brought us together.

What made you decide to start an Instagram centered around your love story?

At our formal engagement function in India there was a man who spoke to my Future Father in Law and told him that he had forbade his son from being with a non-Indian girl and had cut of all communication. After witnessing our engagement and seeing the true love Shaunak and I had for each other he said he changed his mind and decided he will reach back out to his son. This was so amazing to me! Sharing our love story was able to help change one life. I set out to simply share our story with hopes to inspire people to believe in LOVE!

Amy’s parents on left and Shaunak’s on right coming together for the marriage 

One of my favorite quotes on your Instagram is:

“Knowledge of other people’s beliefs and ways of thinking must be used to build bridges, not to create conflicts.” –Kjeli Magne Bondevik   

Can you tell me why this quote is significant for you?

Yes, we must build bridges and not create conflicts. We are global citizens and we have the responsibility to learn about other people’s beliefs in an interconnected world.

Christmas is a holiday that you both celebrate and share. Before you got married, what types of compromises did you discuss in regards to your cultural differences and religious beliefs/ traditions?

We went into our marriage with the understanding that we would be blending both of our cultures into something new and amazing. We decided to keep the holidays and traditions that made us happy. We never saw this as a compromise we saw it as an exciting opportunity.

I come from a very mixed family racially and culturally as well.  When my parents got married in the 1970’s they faced some adversity amongst friends and family in regards to their relationship being seen as “socially acceptable” due to their mixed background, have you faced that in your interracial relationship/ marriage?  If so, how did you handle it?

We faced many challenges as we were not considered “socially acceptable” to the Indian community. In fact when Shaunak and I started dating I was a secret from his parents for an entire year. This was really hard for us. My parents got to know and love Shaunak over that year while his parents were still strangers to me. Shaunak summoned the courage to tell his parents one winter night that he was in love with an American woman. I can’t speak from their standpoint but from mine there were lots of tears because their initial shock came across as not welcoming. I feel so lucky and blessed that after a few very difficult months Shaunak’s family came to accept me. They decided not only would they accept me but they would announce to the world and Indian community our engagement for all to see. Our engagement was an amazing milestone that we celebrated. Shaunak and I built a strong foundation for our relationship because we knew there would be many challenges that ‘normal’ couples don’t have to face. We both feel so lucky and blessed to be together that we celebrate our love every day. I’m extremely optimistic that the tides are changing with a growing number of interracial couples being celebrated by both cultures. Congratulations to the newly engaged Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas!

    

First official introduction to Indian society

                                                 Family at Indian engagement

I want to know all about your wedding dresses.  I saw that you wore a white wedding dress as well as a traditional Indian sari wedding dress. Can you tell me about the details of both?

Gauri Kekre was the existing Mali family designer based in Mumbai, Maharashtra. She designs custom, couture pieces. Gauri Kekre is one of those rare exceptionally gifted designers. Every piece she creates is a true masterpiece down to every detail. She created all of my dresses for the many days of the Indian wedding. She also created my exquisite American wedding gown and all of the bridesmaid’s dresses. https://www.instagram.com/gaurikekre/

American wedding dress with Indian zardozi 
embroidery and beading

Indian wedding traditional Maharashtrian 

saree and hand beaded veil

Sangeet dress gold beaded and chiffon 

Teal and gold sequined ball gown with beaded overlay for wedding reception 

Traditional Green Haldi Saree with coordinating blouse

I see you wearing really stunning pieces of jewelry in your photos, can you enlighten me on the importance of Indian jewelry pieces?

"Jewelry is like the perfect spice… it enhances what is already there!" Jewelry has been a significant adornment for Indian women through the ages. Jewelry studded with different gems is quite popular among Indians. For reasons ranging from spiritual to aesthetic to health, gemstone jewelry has become the part of life of Indian women and men both. These stone jewelries are worn according to the individual's astrological chart and ruling of planet. According to ancient Indian history necklaces worn near the heart are believed to control emotions and strengthen one’s love. Wearing a necklace of stones is believed to bind ourselves with their eternal powers. Since ancient times, necklaces, pendants, strings of beads and elaborate ornamental collars were worn by women to bring good luck and ward off the evil eye.

Indian jewelry and my mehendi 

Tell me about the tradition of getting the Mehendi or henna done.

Mehndi or "Mehendi" is a form of body art from Ancient India, in which decorative designs are created on a person's body, using a paste, created from the powdered dry leaves of the henna plant. Mehndi is derived from the Sanskrit word mendhikā. Haldi (staining oneself with turmeric paste) as well as mehndi are Vedic customs, intended to be a symbolic representation of the outer and the inner sun. Vedic customs are centered on the idea of "awakening the inner light". Traditional Indian designs are representations of the sun on the palm, which, in this context, is intended to represent the hands and feet. The earliest clear evidence of henna powder application on the body appears in Egyptian mummies whose hair and nails were stained with the reddish brown tones of henna. Botanists believe the henna plant, Lawsonia inermis, originated in Egypt and was carried regularly to India where it was used since at least 700 AD for decorating hands and feet. Pretty cool this tradition dates back to Egypt!

What is the garland ceremony and why is it important?

One of the most important Indian rituals is that of exchanging a beautiful garland of flowers. The tradition of garlanding is one of the many rites in an Indian wedding. When the groom garlands his wife, it is believed he bestows half of his spiritual energy on her. Likewise when the bride garlands the groom, she similarly shares her spiritual energy with him. This exchange is said to mean the couple will uphold one another as gods in their heart and respect each other. This bestowing of spiritual energies ultimately symbolizes the union of two souls in marriage.

Garland ceremony

Puja ceremony

What is the tradition of using turmeric, rice, and flowers?

In Hinduism, puja is done on a variety of occasions, frequency and settings. It may include daily puja done in the home, to occasional temple ceremonies and annual festivals, to few lifetime events such as a wedding, or to begin a new venture. This is a photo of the Puja thali from our wedding. Puja thali means "Prayer plate" and it is a tray or a big container in which the entire puja materials accumulated and decorated. In Hindu religious occasions, festivals, traditions and rituals, puja thali maintans an auspicious role. Puja thali may be made of steel, gold, silver, brass or any other metal; it may be rounded, oval or any other shaped or with little engravings and designs as much as decoration needed. 

I love the post about Shaunak’s grandmothers in Mumbai and also how you explain respect to elders in the Indian culture.  Can you please explain the tradition of Namaskar and Pranama and what it means?

Namaste sometimes spoken as Namaskar, Namaskaramis a respectful form of greeting in Hindu custom. It is used both for salutation and valediction. Namaste is usually spoken with a slight bow and hands pressed together, palms touching and fingers pointing upwards, thumbs close to the chest. In Hinduism it means "I bow to the divine in you". The greeting may also be spoken without the gesture or the gesture performed wordlessly, carrying the same meaning.

Amy with Shaunak’s Grandmothers

Lastly, do you have any parting words of wisdom that you would like to share about love, marriage, interracial relationships, and transitioning from one culture to another in a marriage?

Believe in love! It’s the best thing in the world.

Shaunak and Amy’s American Wedding